The Bloody Pink Tutu
by Lexie Jayne
Summary: I go into Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Fourth Season. It involves Spike in a tutu.


THE BLOODY PINK TUTU  
  
Disclaimer: I own Alexandra who is me. The rest belong to UPN and Joss Whedon.  
  
Authoress's Note: This is a weird fic. Either you love it or hate it, according to feedback. Hmm. This was my first ever posted fan fic (well, second, but my first doesnt count)  
so dont be too harsh.  
  
Dedicated to: My printer. Don't ask ;)  
  
  
  
  
"So why'd you call us here?" Xander asked, taking a seat at the library table. "And I thought we blew the library up?"  
  
Alexandra rolled her eyes, and pushed her glasses up. "Well, I was watching the fourth season of 'Buffy' and decided that you guys looked completely miserable. So I thought I'd ask you what you wanted to happen? And I liked the library, Xander, so I brought it back."  
  
" A fan fic?" Buffy asked unbelievingly. "What good is a story about us, when we can't be happy?"  
  
"What would make you happy?" I asked curiously. "I mean, I've mainly done Buffy-and-Angel-tons-of-smootchies, but if that don't make you happy, I guess I could try my hand at Xander and Buffy."  
  
"Me and Angel? What about the curse?" Buffy's voice sounded hopeful.  
  
"You mean Buffy and I..." Xander looked at me with a LOOK. I nods.  
  
"I mean.. Look what would make you guys happy?" I flops into a seat.  
  
"Angel without a curse," Buffy replies.  
  
" No more Tara- I mean I like her and all, but not like that," Willow nods.  
  
" Jenny Calendar," Giles repeats softly, and then smiles at me. "You already brought me back my library."  
  
I smile broadly. "See? I have POWER! Watch!" I point at the door. Spike walks in wearing a pink tutu, singing 'Viva Forever'. Then he stops.  
  
"Why the bloody hell am I wearing a TUTU!" Spike yells at me.  
  
"Look," I reply furiously. "I can do anything. If you want... Drusilla to walk through those doors, I'd shut up and SIT DOWN!" I smile sweetly. He grumbles and plonks down in a chair, still wearing my old tutu.  
  
"Now back to the problem at hand," I look at Willow, Xander, Buffy, Giles and Spike, who is shooting me awful glares. "I don't like Riley. I f I set him up with either Tara or Kate, would anyone have any objections?" Buffy perks up.  
  
"Who's Kate?" she asks quietly.  
  
I know I've got a guilty look on my face, but answer her. "Kate was meant to be Angel's love interest.. but that hasn't happened yet."  
  
"Look, we can't have a bloody debate about our futures, without Nancy Boy, Cordelia, Anya, Faith, Drusilla, Doyle, Wesley, Jenny, Kendra, Amy, Joyce and..." Spike led off.  
"That's everybody," I smirk. "Not a bad list. I kinda like Faith."  
  
They look at me as if I'm crazy. "You like FAITH!" Xander yells. "Do you know exactly what she ..."  
  
I interrupt him. "Yeah, yeah I saw the Zeppo, This Years Girl and Who Are You? but I still like her," I reply.  
  
"She's more insane than Dru," Spike mutters. I glare at him.  
  
"Be quiet Sit'N'Spin!" I snap. "I mean, one flick of the pen, and you could be the second vampire in the world to have a soul."  
  
Spike shudders. "So where is Nancy Boy?" he growls. I massage my temples and sit down.  
  
"Give me a good old fashioned 'Buffy' book any day," I groan. "But no, poor old me gets stuck with the dumbest vamp in history- who is still wearing my old pink tutu- to write a fanfic about. And, by the way, the only reason you haven't got a soul is because I'm rather partial to your one liners."  
  
"Ooooo!" cries a voice from outside. "I think someone's got a crush on William the Bloody!" Then Faith, Amy and Joyce appear. Faith is the one teasing Spike. I make a face at her and scramble to my feet. She looks at the bleached vampire. "Who is wearing what appears to be a pink tutu."  
  
The Scooby gang looks at me. "Do you have a crush on Spike?" Willow inquires.  
I feel the heat rush to my face.  
  
"Of course not. I'm only 12. Plus if I had a crush on him, do you think he'd be wearing a pink tutu? No, he'd be wearing leather pants," I pick up my scrunched up paper.  
  
"Okay we need the following people- Angel, Cordelia, Anya, Doyle and Jenny at the moment," I yell. The five people I call walk in. Angel and Buffy try to avoid eye contact .  
  
"Oh, grow up," I smile at them warmly, even though my head ache is increasing drastically. I look at my papers. "Now, demands in a fanfic."  
  
"Doyle stays alive," Cordy whispers rather quietly. I nod at her sympathetically.  
  
"I like Doyle too- though not like that," I amend quickly, seeing Faith getting ready to pounce.  
  
Something accurs to me. "Joyce," I order, rather sternly. "Why did you ask Angel to leave? Angel why did you make Buffy forget that day you were human? Buffy, Why in HELL did you screw Riley?" I glare at each one in turn.   
  
"I take in you don't like Riley," Anya looked at me.  
  
"I would- and could- stand here and belittle him as much as possible if I had the time. But since I'm getting a headache, it means I'm needing Fluff. Lots and lots of Fluff," I grown, flopping to the floor.  
  
"What sort of fluff?" Willow sits next to me. I gasp and look at her.   
  
"This sort of fluff," I say slyly. Oz is standing in the doorway.  
  
"Hiya Will," he says quietly. Her eyes fill with tears.  
  
"Oz?" she whispers. She jumps to her feet and flings her arms around him.  
  
"That sort of fluff," I reply, my headache almost gone. I glance at my watch.  
  
"I haven't got much time so here's the sitch- Angel is human with vamp strength, Cordy got Doyle and will get a main role in... Dawson's Creek, Giles gets Jenny, Willow gets Oz, Anya gets... Xander you take care of Anya's...needs," I ask him. He nods. "Cool. Spike gets normal clothes and Drusilla, Amy gets deratted, Faith will find a boyfriend.. maybe Connor off All Saints?" I muse to myself. " Joyce will find a new husband and Wesley will find the perfect fiance. Happy?" I scan the room. Everyone looks thrilled. Except Faith. "What's up?" I ask.  
  
"Who's Connor?" she asks.  
  
"Damn too old probably. Hmmm. Dru's got her chaos demon, so Spike how about Faith here? I mean she's pretty and all," I plead. Spike looks at Faith and grins.  
  
"All right. Just get me outta this BLOODY tutu," he shouts. I smile at him.  
  
"But you look so completely ridiculous," I giggle. "Anyway, I'll come and check on you guys next week, and maybe we can torture Parker and Riley. Sounds appealing, Spike? Make up for the pink tutu?" I chuckle. He nods. "Cool! See ya!"  
  
So I head home to my boring life watching Buffy screw Riley and Angel brood. Must check on my friends next week. Now I'm going to write some serious Riley bashing fic. Bye!!!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The Bloody Pink Tutu Two: Bringing Back Justice  
  
I wondered back into the library. Spike and Faith were making out.   
  
"Guys!" I yelled. " I'm back by unpopular demand."  
  
Spike and Faith jumped apart. I rolled my eyes and sat down. Luckily the rest of the gang came in- Buffy, Angel, Willow, Oz, Giles, Cordelia, Doyle, Wesley and Xander.  
  
"Ally!" Willow gave me a quick hug. "Back again!"  
  
"It's Torture Time!" I smiled in my best game show host impression.  
  
Cheers rang out. "Riley first."  
  
The ridicules wimp walked in. I snapped my fingers and wrote on the paper and low and behold Riley was chained to the wall. Several knives and other assort weaponry sat around the room.  
  
"Since I always keep my promises, Spike gets the first 10 minutes," I scribbled on my notepad. Three bowls of pop corn appeared. Xander cheered.  
  
"Do I actually have any say in this, or do you write down what happens?" Spike asked suspiciously. I giggle.  
  
"Your free hand," I confirmed.  
  
"This is just...neat!" Spike grinned. Ten minutes later, and there's only pieces of Riley.  
  
"I don't know about you, but I for one feel a lot better," I smiled sweetly.  
  
"You ARE evil," Cordelia said pointedly.  
  
"And I brought back Doyle...should you be complaining,"  
  
  
  



End file.
